1 00:00:48,181 --> 00:00:52,340 Oh, excuse me mate, oi give us...oh, Gawd blimey Michael, give us... 2 00:00:53,066 --> 00:00:54,100 Alright Dave? 3 00:00:54,310 --> 00:00:57,405 Oh yeah, hello Trig. Looks like rain don't it? 4 00:00:57,563 --> 00:00:58,911 Yeah, tastes like it and all. 5 00:00:59,156 --> 00:01:04,166 Oi, I heard that Trigger! I'll have you know my beer has just won second prize in the breweries contest! 6 00:01:04,201 --> 00:01:06,682 Yes that's right, he was narrowly beaten by the Metropolitan Water Board! 7 00:01:08,882 --> 00:01:11,673 Do you hear that? He was narrowly beaten by the Metropolitan Water Board! 8 00:01:13,078 --> 00:01:17,074 You see Trigger, they sell water you know and Mike, he sells... 9 00:01:18,552 --> 00:01:19,569 What is it Albert? 10 00:01:19,960 --> 00:01:23,273 Now brace yourselves boys, I just had a bit of bad news. 11 00:01:24,174 --> 00:01:28,216 Your Aunt Ada's been rushed into hospital, she's in a bad way by all accounts. 12 00:01:28,809 --> 00:01:31,367 - Oh no, that's a shame innit? - That's a choker. 13 00:01:32,186 --> 00:01:34,455 - Who's Aunt Ada? - Gawd knows; I don't. 14 00:01:35,891 --> 00:01:36,973 She's me wife. 15 00:01:37,008 --> 00:01:40,445 Oh that Aunt Ada? But you ain't seen her for ages. 16 00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:44,352 Yeah, she said to the rest of the family that if she saw you again she'd kill you. 17 00:01:44,927 --> 00:01:50,766 She was annoyed when she said that. You see it's like a chapter of my life is coming to a close. 18 00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:53,315 Yeah, I know just how she feels though, eh? 19 00:01:53,989 --> 00:01:59,030 Well that's it you see son, I don't know. I'd like to go and visit her and find out. 20 00:01:59,326 --> 00:02:00,310 Well why don't ya? 21 00:02:01,116 --> 00:02:02,905 'Cos she might not be as ill as they say. 22 00:02:07,133 --> 00:02:08,763 He's really in the dumps ain't he? 23 00:02:08,798 --> 00:02:10,292 Yeah, I know. What can you do, eh? Still. 24 00:02:11,324 --> 00:02:13,490 Sorry darling! I'll tell you what we can do, 25 00:02:13,525 --> 00:02:15,972 why don't we take him down the chinky, that should cheer him up, eh Rodders? 26 00:02:16,007 --> 00:02:17,172 Do you want to come with us Trig? 27 00:02:17,207 --> 00:02:19,279 No, I ain't sure Del. My niece'll be here in a minute. 28 00:02:19,537 --> 00:02:21,411 She's come up from the country for a few days. 29 00:02:21,446 --> 00:02:23,440 You remember little Lisa don't you? 30 00:02:23,475 --> 00:02:26,105 Lisa, oh your sister's kid? Yeah, I remember her. 31 00:02:26,302 --> 00:02:27,994 I'd better see what she fancies doing. 32 00:02:28,229 --> 00:02:31,326 Listen, I'm gonna have a chat with Albert, jolly him up a bit. 33 00:02:31,791 --> 00:02:34,355 Jolly him up. Thanks Trigger, you're a pal. 34 00:02:35,432 --> 00:02:38,834 I remember Lisa - scruffy little mare weren't she. 35 00:02:38,980 --> 00:02:40,648 She had more candlesticks than Liberace. 36 00:02:40,683 --> 00:02:46,666 Yeah, that's her. I remember her mum though, she was a fair sort - pig-ugly, but a fair sort. 37 00:02:48,364 --> 00:02:53,118 I nicknamed her Miss 999 you know 'cos I only phoned her in an emergency. 38 00:02:55,424 --> 00:02:57,031 See if we can do a bit of business here, Michael... 39 00:02:57,440 --> 00:03:01,833 Mike, just a moment - Mike...Could I...Michael... 40 00:03:03,300 --> 00:03:07,227 Oi, shut up will yer, I can't hear myself think over here. 41 00:03:08,398 --> 00:03:10,745 - Del, it's a talent contest! - Well she ought to be disqualified. 42 00:03:11,159 --> 00:03:13,837 - That's the favourite! - Oi, what's all the hollering about? 43 00:03:13,872 --> 00:03:15,672 Well, I dunno, I just told her to shut up. 44 00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:21,548 'Ere, listen Michael, now that we're over here, I've got a beautiful ultraviolet sunbed back at the flat. 45 00:03:21,726 --> 00:03:25,432 Now they retail normally at 375, it's yours for 120. 46 00:03:25,915 --> 00:03:28,674 Just think of it eh, your own personal home solarium? 47 00:03:29,764 --> 00:03:30,826 I don't want it. 48 00:03:30,861 --> 00:03:34,102 I can see that you're in two minds so I'll tell you what I'll do. 49 00:03:34,856 --> 00:03:38,535 I have here a super delux modern plug-in type telephone 50 00:03:38,570 --> 00:03:41,202 and I'm gonna give it to you free with your home-solarium. 51 00:03:41,237 --> 00:03:43,756 I can't say fairer than that, because this is my last one. 52 00:03:44,311 --> 00:03:46,751 - I don't want it. - I'll chuck in an extension. 53 00:03:47,123 --> 00:03:50,373 - I don't want it. - Yes or no? 54 00:03:51,104 --> 00:03:52,967 Do me a favour Del...please. 55 00:03:53,002 --> 00:03:54,519 I'm doing you a favour... 56 00:03:55,442 --> 00:03:56,582 And I nearly had him then. 57 00:03:57,356 --> 00:04:01,715 I could see he was weakening. Is it worth stopping here for another one? 58 00:04:02,706 --> 00:04:05,185 No it ain't. Come on Rodney - let's get going. 59 00:04:05,220 --> 00:04:08,819 That bird over there's giving me the right hump. Oi, shut up. 60 00:04:10,225 --> 00:04:11,505 Del. Lisa's here. 61 00:04:12,042 --> 00:04:15,019 Not now Trigger, we ain't got time. Say hello for us, will you? Come on Rodders - let's get going. 62 00:04:15,590 --> 00:04:22,001 - Hello Del. - Hello darling...Bloody hell! 63 00:04:23,339 --> 00:04:26,063 That ain't that scruffy little thing with the funny drawers is it? 64 00:04:27,110 --> 00:04:28,468 Yeah, must be, yeah. 65 00:04:28,947 --> 00:04:32,214 Bloody 'ell...Are you off then, are yer? 66 00:04:32,601 --> 00:04:35,300 No, no, no, I think I'll stay for another one. 67 00:04:36,397 --> 00:04:38,828 Are you gonna go down the chinky with Uncle Albert then? 68 00:04:40,862 --> 00:04:43,094 I don't fancy it - all that batter and that. 69 00:04:46,185 --> 00:04:47,968 Well, out of my way, come on, get out of me way. 70 00:04:48,003 --> 00:04:50,319 - You piss off. - Look, there's a pound down there, look there. 71 00:04:50,947 --> 00:04:52,037 Hello darling. 72 00:04:53,178 --> 00:04:55,845 Hello, Del. Oh it's been such a long time. 73 00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:59,713 Yeah it has innit? Haven't you got big, eh? No, I mean you've grown up. 74 00:05:00,156 --> 00:05:03,437 - Well I'm 25 now. - You're not! 25 now... 75 00:05:03,472 --> 00:05:05,847 - Hello Lisa, do you remember me? - Hello. How are you? 76 00:05:06,605 --> 00:05:08,114 - Oh fine, I'm really good. - Oh that's nice. 77 00:05:08,149 --> 00:05:09,202 Who is he? 78 00:05:10,015 --> 00:05:13,360 Eh? Who him? That's little Rodney. Don't you remember little Rodney. 79 00:05:13,395 --> 00:05:14,479 You used to play with him. 80 00:05:14,514 --> 00:05:17,174 - Oh, of course. You've changed. - Yes, so have you. 81 00:05:17,614 --> 00:05:20,550 I'll say she has changed. Cor you are a big girl... 82 00:05:20,585 --> 00:05:22,431 Why don't we go and sit down over here, and have a little chat. 83 00:05:23,837 --> 00:05:25,532 No, no. I'll come with you. I'll come with you. 84 00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:32,001 - Do you remember the old days? - Thank you Rodney. 85 00:05:33,456 --> 00:05:35,996 Oh it's lovely seeing you two again. 86 00:05:36,031 --> 00:05:39,520 You know I always remember that day - ooh it was years and years ago � 87 00:05:39,555 --> 00:05:43,204 you drove round to me Nan's house in a brand-new-three-wheeled van. 88 00:05:43,518 --> 00:05:47,271 I remember him saying to Uncle Trigger, this time next year it'll be a Mercedes. 89 00:05:47,306 --> 00:05:49,819 I was so impressed...Did you ever get the Mercedes? 90 00:05:51,350 --> 00:05:55,904 Na, na, I went off 'em... I got a nice little two-seater now! 91 00:05:56,282 --> 00:05:58,887 Two seats, three wheels! It's the same van innit? 92 00:06:01,163 --> 00:06:05,998 That's right, I let Rodney borrow it sometimes when he's behaved himself, 'cos he can't afford a car of his own! 93 00:06:06,325 --> 00:06:12,046 I mean, what kid can of his age, eh? So you're living down in the country then, eh? 94 00:06:12,081 --> 00:06:15,248 Just outside Winchester. You still livin' in the same place? 95 00:06:15,676 --> 00:06:17,405 Yeah, yeah. we're still there. 96 00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:22,065 Listen, you know before you go home you ought to come round to the flat. 97 00:06:22,291 --> 00:06:25,753 We can have a chat about old times, you know. You can stay for tea. 98 00:06:26,124 --> 00:06:28,017 Oh thanks, I'd love to. 99 00:06:28,052 --> 00:06:30,811 I was gonna invite you to tea an' all. How about tomorrow night? 100 00:06:30,846 --> 00:06:31,805 Fine. 101 00:06:31,840 --> 00:06:33,965 Yes tomorrow's fine by me sweetheart. 102 00:06:36,718 --> 00:06:38,609 No, I invited Lisa for tomorrow night. 103 00:06:38,644 --> 00:06:42,006 Yes, I know you did Rodney, but don't forget I did invite Lisa first. 104 00:06:42,041 --> 00:06:45,139 Derek, you clearly heard me invite Lisa for tea tomorrow night. 105 00:06:45,174 --> 00:06:46,297 But I invited her first. 106 00:06:46,772 --> 00:06:51,342 Look, why don't we have tea together? Then the three of us can talk about the old times. 107 00:06:53,264 --> 00:06:54,926 - Oh, good. - Fine. 108 00:06:55,459 --> 00:06:57,129 Hurry up will you, I want 'alf an hour under there. 109 00:06:57,406 --> 00:07:01,674 'Ere, these ultraviolet rays contain vitamin E don't they? 110 00:07:07,056 --> 00:07:09,731 I read somewhere that vitamin Es are good for an 'angover. 111 00:07:10,111 --> 00:07:13,967 Yeah, well you made a right berk of yourself at the talent contest didn't yer? 112 00:07:14,721 --> 00:07:16,673 Getting up on stage and singing that stupid song. 113 00:07:17,100 --> 00:07:18,973 What are you on about, I won! 114 00:07:20,105 --> 00:07:21,133 You won?? 115 00:07:21,180 --> 00:07:23,800 Del, you know who won the talent contest? 116 00:07:24,019 --> 00:07:26,149 - Who did? - Roy Orbison here! 117 00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:29,964 Must have been a sympathy vote! 118 00:07:30,394 --> 00:07:33,488 Anyway, I've got all the grub in for me and Lisa's tea tonight. 119 00:07:34,218 --> 00:07:36,109 Yes, well I made a contribution too. 120 00:07:36,498 --> 00:07:45,421 Oh, have ya? Well I got chicken Italiano, fruit salad and Dream Topping to follow and what've you bought? 121 00:07:46,885 --> 00:07:48,034 Cheese. 122 00:07:49,761 --> 00:07:53,461 Cheese! Cheese? Well, it's a good job I bought all this grub then innit, eh? 123 00:07:53,818 --> 00:07:57,289 If it was left up to you the poor little cow'd have been down for Welsh rabbit. 124 00:07:57,477 --> 00:08:00,292 Well, if you put your hand in your pocket every so often and give me some proper money. 125 00:08:00,327 --> 00:08:01,833 Listen, I earn the money in this family. 126 00:08:01,868 --> 00:08:03,688 Why don't you two pack it in? 127 00:08:04,352 --> 00:08:06,749 God, you look like a geriatric ball-boy. 128 00:08:09,539 --> 00:08:12,863 You two were niggling each other last night and you've been bickering all morning, 129 00:08:13,708 --> 00:08:15,815 I'm fed up with yer. I'm going down the Legion. 130 00:08:16,605 --> 00:08:19,097 Anyway, I better make sure we've got enough Smash in for Lisa's tea. 131 00:08:20,085 --> 00:08:24,465 Right, I'm gonna have a quick tone-up, a nice shower and I am sorted! 132 00:08:25,757 --> 00:08:27,992 Oi, how'd you turn this thing on for 'alf an hour? 133 00:08:28,237 --> 00:08:31,009 - On the end there. - Right, got it. 134 00:08:33,148 --> 00:08:34,573 Oh, this is lovely! 135 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:43,839 Listen to me Rodney. I told you once, you remember, that Grandad and I didn't speak to each other for years? 136 00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:47,536 Well that was all over a woman! It was yer Aunt Ada! 137 00:08:47,970 --> 00:08:49,604 You're not gonna sing again are you? 138 00:08:50,984 --> 00:08:53,978 I remember me and yer Grandad, we were just like you and Del Boy. 139 00:08:55,536 --> 00:09:00,965 We weren't just brothers, we was mates, went everywhere together, got up to some right capers. 140 00:09:02,352 --> 00:09:05,942 Then one night we met Ada at the local palais. 141 00:09:06,857 --> 00:09:09,864 She was a beautiful woman, a bit like Ginger Rodgers. 142 00:09:10,984 --> 00:09:13,602 Last time I saw her she looked more like Fred Astaire! 143 00:09:15,537 --> 00:09:20,087 Well, we both had a couple of dances with her, then we both wanted to take her home. 144 00:09:20,122 --> 00:09:22,184 We ended up fighting in the street over her. 145 00:09:23,485 --> 00:09:29,430 He never spoke to me from that day to... He never spoke to me ever again. 146 00:09:30,675 --> 00:09:35,978 I'm frightened history's gonna repeat itself. I don't wanna see that happen to you and Del. 147 00:09:40,573 --> 00:09:41,965 Bloody kids! 148 00:09:43,028 --> 00:09:47,861 Oi, Rodney! I'm gonna whip down the shops and get another packet of Smash and some Brut so I want you to... 149 00:09:52,209 --> 00:09:59,844 Ah, he's gone to sleep bless him! So you wanna get a nice tan for the girl then do you? 150 00:10:02,255 --> 00:10:03,762 I'll give you a nice tan alright. 151 00:10:12,072 --> 00:10:14,235 Oh, not too much I got to be up early in the morning. 152 00:10:14,270 --> 00:10:17,296 Just a little topperooni - there we go. 153 00:10:17,692 --> 00:10:20,468 Come on Rodney. Oi, come on, bring your cheese. 154 00:10:21,545 --> 00:10:24,047 I really think Rodney should go to hospital with his face. 155 00:10:24,082 --> 00:10:26,033 Yeah, I know, I've been telling him that for years! 156 00:10:44,780 --> 00:10:48,118 - Does your face hurt? - Only when I smile. 157 00:10:49,465 --> 00:10:53,320 Listen Rodney, I wouldn't stand about in that suit too long if I were you, not with your head! 158 00:10:53,665 --> 00:10:55,823 - Why not? - Well, he looks like a Swan Vesta! 159 00:11:01,990 --> 00:11:03,520 How's your mum these days Lisa? 160 00:11:04,032 --> 00:11:05,512 Oh, she's fine thank you. 161 00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:11,562 Did you know that years and years ago, Del used to take your mum out? 162 00:11:11,597 --> 00:11:13,128 Oh, I didn't know that. 163 00:11:13,405 --> 00:11:15,371 Yeah, yeah, we were just little tiny kids then. 164 00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:18,254 What was it you nicknamed her, Del? 165 00:11:18,873 --> 00:11:21,879 Em... It was the Rose of Peckham. 166 00:11:21,914 --> 00:11:24,241 My Mum??? I can't wait to tell her. 167 00:11:24,276 --> 00:11:26,263 Well, that's funny because he told me in the pub... 168 00:11:28,937 --> 00:11:30,387 D'you like going to the flicks? 169 00:11:30,422 --> 00:11:34,121 Oh the cinema, oh yeah. Have you seen An Officer and a Gentleman? 170 00:11:35,013 --> 00:11:36,235 Oh yeah, yeah. 171 00:11:36,897 --> 00:11:38,629 Oh that Richard Gere, isn't he fabulous? 172 00:11:38,664 --> 00:11:40,505 - Yeah, he's alright. - I like what he wears. 173 00:11:40,540 --> 00:11:43,991 Oh when he was wearing his uniform. Oh God, I went all goose-pimpley. 174 00:11:44,026 --> 00:11:47,268 You know there definitely is something about a man in a uniform. 175 00:11:47,576 --> 00:11:51,804 Well you take after your mum there, she used to go out with this geezer from the Gas Board! 176 00:11:54,348 --> 00:11:58,450 I used to be in the army! Well, cadets! 177 00:11:59,950 --> 00:12:01,950 - I used to be a paratrooper! - Really? 178 00:12:02,370 --> 00:12:03,509 Didn't I Rodney?? 179 00:12:04,289 --> 00:12:06,359 Well you've made a few drops in your time Del. 180 00:12:08,077 --> 00:12:11,883 I don't know how you could do it. I've got these friends back home who belong to a hang-gliding club. 181 00:12:12,117 --> 00:12:13,875 Oh, yeah hang-gliding, well I love all that. 182 00:12:13,910 --> 00:12:17,382 They're always asking me to try but just the thought of it terrifies me. 183 00:12:17,417 --> 00:12:21,179 There's nothing to it. No, I used to free-fall from 20,000 feet. 184 00:12:21,214 --> 00:12:22,019 No. 185 00:12:22,054 --> 00:12:24,573 Yeah, I didn't used to open my chute 'til I saw the tops of the trees. 186 00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:27,148 - Oh God. - At night. 187 00:12:30,182 --> 00:12:33,622 You also had your feet tied together and a hand over one eye, didn't you!! 188 00:12:34,304 --> 00:12:36,811 - One night my chute didn't open at all! - What happened? 189 00:12:37,771 --> 00:12:42,306 I had a bad landing! But fortunately they teach you to fall properly! It was alright. 190 00:12:42,341 --> 00:12:46,945 You know it's funny but I've always imagined paratroopers to be...Well, taller! 191 00:12:47,582 --> 00:12:50,913 Yeah well, he used to be six foot one, but like he said, he had a bad landing! 192 00:12:53,875 --> 00:12:56,272 Thank you, thank you very much Rodney for your observations. 193 00:12:56,608 --> 00:12:58,242 Get out in the kitchen and put the kettle on will yer? 194 00:12:58,724 --> 00:13:00,073 Oh no, no. I've got to be going. 195 00:13:01,504 --> 00:13:03,226 Listen, I'll walk you home, eh? 196 00:13:03,609 --> 00:13:05,431 No, no, no Rodney, you can't do that. 197 00:13:05,466 --> 00:13:09,758 You can't stand around street corners with your face, the traffic'll be waiting for you to change to green! 198 00:13:11,826 --> 00:13:13,362 No listen, I'll give you a lift home. 199 00:13:13,739 --> 00:13:15,233 Oh that's nice of you Del. 200 00:13:15,671 --> 00:13:18,336 L'etat c'est moi! As the French would say. 201 00:13:18,709 --> 00:13:20,678 What else could I do for a charming lady? 202 00:13:20,912 --> 00:13:22,217 Why thank you kind sir! 203 00:13:22,252 --> 00:13:24,549 Not at all. I'll just go and get the keys shall I? 204 00:13:27,345 --> 00:13:28,535 I'm going, I'm going. 205 00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:33,983 Well, it's been really nice seeing you again after all this time. 206 00:13:34,018 --> 00:13:37,313 Oh I've enjoyed it so much. You know - shopping and meeting old friends. 207 00:13:37,348 --> 00:13:39,086 Yeah, what time you off tomorrow? 208 00:13:39,300 --> 00:13:41,093 I get the 10 o'clock train from Waterloo. 209 00:13:41,128 --> 00:13:44,419 I've got to be home by 12, I'm meeting those friends I was telling you about. 210 00:13:44,806 --> 00:13:45,919 What, the hang-gliders? 211 00:13:46,156 --> 00:13:47,426 - I'll just get me jacket. - Yeah. 212 00:13:52,812 --> 00:13:55,060 Why don't me and Del drive you home tomorrow? 213 00:13:55,095 --> 00:13:56,477 I couldn't ask you to do that! 214 00:13:56,512 --> 00:13:59,518 No, no, we'd like it. We'd have a nice day in the country! 215 00:13:59,553 --> 00:14:01,333 Del'll jump at the chance. 216 00:14:02,590 --> 00:14:08,699 And I was thinking, it's Del's 46th birthday soon and I'd love to give him a real surprise. 217 00:14:10,031 --> 00:14:12,032 - D'you know what his ambition is? - What? 218 00:14:12,404 --> 00:14:19,936 To hang-glide! Well, you know, being the old ex-paratrooper it's only natural innit? 219 00:14:21,205 --> 00:14:24,574 So d'you reckon your mates could arrange for him to have a little flight? 220 00:14:24,799 --> 00:14:26,975 No problem, they'd be delighted. 221 00:14:27,010 --> 00:14:32,528 Oh that'll be great! I can't wait to see his little face. 222 00:14:32,707 --> 00:14:34,370 It'll be our little secret though, eh? 223 00:14:34,405 --> 00:14:35,606 Sure, oh me bag. 224 00:14:38,364 --> 00:14:41,528 Yes, I can't wait to see his little face. 225 00:14:42,981 --> 00:14:43,983 What? 226 00:14:46,209 --> 00:14:48,256 You want me to go up on one of them wing things? 227 00:14:49,907 --> 00:14:53,872 No, no, no, not today darling, you see I'm not in the mood. 228 00:14:54,191 --> 00:14:56,650 You can't wait to get up there can you? I can see it in your eyes! 229 00:14:57,463 --> 00:14:58,339 Really? 230 00:14:58,670 --> 00:15:00,697 Andy, come over here and meet some friends of mine. 231 00:15:05,516 --> 00:15:06,916 I'd like you to meet Del and Rodney. 232 00:15:07,261 --> 00:15:08,702 - Oh, nice to meet you. - Watcha son. 233 00:15:10,565 --> 00:15:12,863 - Are you okay? - I'm fine. 234 00:15:13,982 --> 00:15:16,341 Sorry, it's just that you look sort of flushed. 235 00:15:17,906 --> 00:15:20,963 No, no, it's alright. It's just his great-grandad was a Comanche. 236 00:15:24,039 --> 00:15:26,034 Well, Lisa tells me you used to be a paratrooper. 237 00:15:29,774 --> 00:15:32,650 Well it's many, many years ago now like, you know what I mean? 238 00:15:32,826 --> 00:15:36,516 Well, I've done a bit of free-falling myself, nothing in your calibre of course, but it was great fun. 239 00:15:36,976 --> 00:15:38,333 Yes, triffic! 240 00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:41,495 Well, whenever you're ready Del. 241 00:15:43,552 --> 00:15:49,113 No, no, no, it's alright, I don't wanna spoil your fun Andy, I'll stay here and just watch, eh. 242 00:15:49,318 --> 00:15:50,718 Listen to me Derek Trotter. 243 00:15:51,065 --> 00:15:56,301 I've arranged all this specially for you! It's my way of saying thank you for the lovely meal last night. 244 00:15:56,681 --> 00:15:57,970 I wish you could have seen it Andy. 245 00:15:58,827 --> 00:16:00,074 Hang around and you might! 246 00:16:02,100 --> 00:16:04,006 Andy doesn't mind you borrowing his equipment, do you? 247 00:16:04,237 --> 00:16:06,728 No, no, it's a pleasure. And we've got some great thermals today. 248 00:16:07,091 --> 00:16:11,045 Thermals? Oh what a shame, I'm just wearing me ordinary Y-fronts. 249 00:16:12,157 --> 00:16:14,430 No, no, thermals, you know, warm air. 250 00:16:15,646 --> 00:16:17,090 He's just having you on! 251 00:16:17,686 --> 00:16:21,547 Oh I see! We'll get everything ready then. 252 00:16:22,099 --> 00:16:23,794 Yeah, okay. 253 00:16:26,803 --> 00:16:28,282 What am I gonna do? 254 00:16:28,671 --> 00:16:34,695 I don't know! Dear oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, hat a pickle! 255 00:16:35,597 --> 00:16:38,600 I mean really, it's a bit of a shame you ever said you was a paratrooper. 256 00:16:39,167 --> 00:16:41,027 I wish I'd kept my bloody mouth shut. 257 00:16:41,652 --> 00:16:44,454 What's that Andy want to go sticking his hooter into my affairs for eh, eh? 258 00:16:44,772 --> 00:16:46,904 Well he thinks he's doing you a favour, don't he? 259 00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:50,679 I'm gonna land him a doughboy right round the lug hole before he's much older! 260 00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:58,492 What am I gonna do Rodney? I can't tell 'em I'm scared can I, eh, eh? 261 00:16:58,723 --> 00:17:03,165 No, no, you'd make yourself look a right dipstick in front of everyone. 262 00:17:05,558 --> 00:17:07,118 You don't fancy having a little fly then? 263 00:17:07,792 --> 00:17:11,743 No I do not. I prefer to keep my feet firmly on the old terra-cotta! 264 00:17:13,894 --> 00:17:15,468 I'll tell 'em I'm not feeling very well! 265 00:17:16,581 --> 00:17:20,125 Eh, you can't do that! A Green Beret with an headache! 266 00:17:21,506 --> 00:17:24,501 This is one little problem you're gonna have to work out on your own Del, innit? 267 00:17:29,267 --> 00:17:30,712 See Rodney, now listen to me. 268 00:17:30,887 --> 00:17:34,009 I know we haven't been seeing eye to eye for the last few days, but listen to me, 269 00:17:34,169 --> 00:17:35,637 we are brothers after all, ain't we? 270 00:17:35,672 --> 00:17:39,619 I mean it's blood! It's like Uncle Albert said, brothers shouldn't fall out over a woman. 271 00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:43,933 Didn't he, eh?Come on. What d'you reckon? Eh Rodney, eh? 272 00:17:44,445 --> 00:17:47,434 You're right Del! No, you're right. I mean it's stupid arguing, innit? 273 00:17:52,651 --> 00:17:54,501 You know it makes sense, don't you eh? 274 00:17:56,004 --> 00:17:59,711 Come on, help me out of this mess Rodney, please. Come on, any ideas? Anything? Eh? 275 00:17:59,999 --> 00:18:02,984 Alright, alright we'll just have a look at the problems, right. 276 00:18:03,127 --> 00:18:05,253 On the one hand right, you don't want to fly! 277 00:18:07,743 --> 00:18:10,348 But on the other hand you want to keep your pride intact? 278 00:18:10,601 --> 00:18:14,461 - Of course I do. - Right, right, I've got it. 279 00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:19,542 You pretend to be dead keen to get up in them old clouds right! 280 00:18:20,051 --> 00:18:23,312 You put on all the gear, put yourself in the glider thing, 281 00:18:23,944 --> 00:18:26,929 then at the last minute I come over from the van, 282 00:18:26,964 --> 00:18:31,984 rushing up and say we've had an urgent call come through on our car-phone. 283 00:18:36,762 --> 00:18:39,944 That's brill innit eh? But we ain't got a car phone, have we Dopey? 284 00:18:40,105 --> 00:18:41,730 We ain't even got a ruddy car, look. 285 00:18:46,344 --> 00:18:47,723 Who's gonna know any different? 286 00:18:49,321 --> 00:18:53,970 And then I say you've gotta rush back to London immediately, right, 287 00:18:54,005 --> 00:18:57,994 and you act all disappointed, you go 'Oh no, but what can you do?' 288 00:18:59,292 --> 00:19:01,011 Then we're in the van and we're away! 289 00:19:01,868 --> 00:19:04,952 Oh yeah, good boy. Well done Rodders, well done. 290 00:19:06,110 --> 00:19:08,255 Listen, you are gonna stay here though aren't yer? 291 00:19:08,839 --> 00:19:10,499 - I'll be right here, mate. - Good boy, good boy. 292 00:19:12,661 --> 00:19:17,774 Hey Andy, come on then, hurry up, I'm getting a bit impatient to be off ain't I? 293 00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:20,308 He don't know does he? 294 00:19:27,711 --> 00:19:28,909 Everything alright? 295 00:19:28,944 --> 00:19:30,886 Oh yeah, beautiful darling, beautiful. 296 00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:33,793 Now do you remember everything I told you about controlling the glider? 297 00:19:33,828 --> 00:19:36,517 Yeah, don't worry Andy, it's all up there. Down there for dancing. 298 00:19:43,752 --> 00:19:46,907 What d'you reckon, all the thermal and all that alright up there Andy? 299 00:19:47,078 --> 00:19:48,845 No, no, it's one of the best days of the year. 300 00:19:50,956 --> 00:19:51,069 - That was exactly what I thought. - Well, whenever you're ready Del. 301 00:19:51,809 --> 00:19:53,343 Ah right, cushty. 302 00:19:57,660 --> 00:19:59,659 - You're switched on... - Yeah, it's all working, yeah. 303 00:20:09,513 --> 00:20:12,858 Is that our phone I can hear ringing Rodney? 304 00:20:21,012 --> 00:20:24,274 I said is that our phone I can hear ringing? 305 00:20:29,098 --> 00:20:36,284 - Are you sure? - Yeah. We ain't got a carphone! 306 00:20:45,855 --> 00:20:51,034 Get up as high as you can Del. You might get a tan. 307 00:20:53,276 --> 00:20:57,333 I will get you for this Rodney, just see if I don't. 308 00:21:00,727 --> 00:21:01,791 Are you going Del? 309 00:21:05,248 --> 00:21:09,419 Yeah I'm going... Oh my good Gawd! Oh bloody Hell! 310 00:21:23,137 --> 00:21:29,445 They do this for fun? Oh Gawd, please let me get down safely. 311 00:21:30,483 --> 00:21:31,911 Please God, let me get down from here. 312 00:21:35,109 --> 00:21:36,339 What's he doing? 313 00:21:37,045 --> 00:21:39,505 Well, where's he going? I told him to stay close to the ridge. 314 00:21:40,069 --> 00:21:43,160 - Why, what's over there? - He's heading out to sea. 315 00:21:47,941 --> 00:21:58,115 Get that down you! He's been missing for 12 hours! 12 hours, that's nearly half a day! 316 00:21:58,712 --> 00:22:01,451 I know, I've got a GCE in Maths, haven't I? 317 00:22:07,055 --> 00:22:09,933 - Shall I answer it son? - Yes please. 318 00:22:18,431 --> 00:22:20,314 - Watcha Dave. - Watcha Trig. 319 00:22:20,825 --> 00:22:21,787 You alright? 320 00:22:22,360 --> 00:22:26,564 Yeah, I'm fine, this is nothing! Have they found him? 321 00:22:27,384 --> 00:22:32,116 - Yeah... They found him Dave! - Eh. Where? 322 00:22:32,785 --> 00:22:35,552 He crashed into a television transmitter in Redhill. 323 00:22:37,949 --> 00:22:40,936 They rushed him to the local hospital. X-rays and that. 324 00:22:42,050 --> 00:22:47,576 They tried to phone his next of kin - but they couldn't get through, so they phoned the pub. 325 00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:49,893 Me and Mike got a cab out there. 326 00:22:50,378 --> 00:22:51,947 We'll see you for the fare son. 327 00:22:52,198 --> 00:22:54,155 Na, that's alright. We got a Green Line back. 328 00:22:56,122 --> 00:22:58,842 But what happened? Has he broken anything? 329 00:23:00,068 --> 00:23:03,043 Well they reckon the aerial's beyond repair. 330 00:23:06,413 --> 00:23:08,372 I mean Del, how's Del? 331 00:23:09,416 --> 00:23:10,992 You'd better ask him yourself Dave. 332 00:23:17,038 --> 00:23:19,669 See you got home safely then Rodney? 333 00:23:22,051 --> 00:23:27,213 - Yeah. Are you alright Del? - Is he winding me up or what? 334 00:23:29,075 --> 00:23:35,767 No, no, he's just a bit concerned that's all Del. Here, are you alright? 335 00:23:36,183 --> 00:23:37,341 I'm fine!! 336 00:23:37,678 --> 00:23:39,145 So what did the hospital say son? 337 00:23:40,276 --> 00:23:41,537 They said... 338 00:23:41,999 --> 00:23:43,845 They said I may never walk again! 339 00:23:45,915 --> 00:23:52,969 Rodney, Rodney, my brother, I know that in your heart of hearts you never meant to disable me! 340 00:23:53,004 --> 00:23:56,393 And I just want you to know I won't hold it against you. 341 00:23:57,999 --> 00:23:59,473 Alright. 342 00:24:07,814 --> 00:24:14,047 Alright, what I meant was, I'm sorry I let you lay under our home-solarium all that time 343 00:24:14,082 --> 00:24:16,212 and made you go a bit red. 344 00:24:16,776 --> 00:24:19,914 I suppose, alright, this is my punishment, innit? 345 00:24:20,582 --> 00:24:23,954 Spend the rest of my life in this wheelchair! 346 00:24:25,017 --> 00:24:26,758 Still, it could have been worse Del! 347 00:24:28,043 --> 00:24:29,093 How? 348 00:24:29,361 --> 00:24:32,015 My gran had one with a squeaky wheel! 349 00:24:36,946 --> 00:24:41,421 This is all a bit sick innit? I mean, you might fool these three, but not me bruv! 350 00:24:42,023 --> 00:24:43,283 What do you mean Rodney? 351 00:24:43,535 --> 00:24:44,684 Oh come off it Del! 352 00:24:44,925 --> 00:24:49,167 Two pina coladas then you'll put on your Eric Clapton LP and you'll be up jiving won't ya? 353 00:24:49,456 --> 00:24:51,615 I don't believe this! I don't believe what he's doing to me! 354 00:24:51,784 --> 00:24:54,384 He's torn my world in half and now he's having a pop at me! 355 00:24:54,716 --> 00:24:55,963 You're right out of order son! 356 00:24:55,998 --> 00:25:00,496 Oh listen to me. Hospitals do not send home paralysed people by bus!! 357 00:25:04,428 --> 00:25:10,509 What is it you are after Del, sympathy from Lisa or a disabled sticker for the van, eh? 358 00:25:14,010 --> 00:25:17,166 You listen to me you vicious little git! I may never walk again for the rest of... 359 00:25:23,179 --> 00:25:25,885 Although I must admit, I'm getting some feeling back. 360 00:25:27,672 --> 00:25:29,814 You should never tell them sort of lies Del! 361 00:25:30,004 --> 00:25:32,801 You made us go all the way out to Redhill and there was nothing wrong with you? 362 00:25:33,055 --> 00:25:35,688 Don't blame me, it was him. I just wanted to get my own back on this plonker. 363 00:25:36,073 --> 00:25:40,915 Yeah, but when you fancied a smoke on the bus you made me carry you up to the top deck. 364 00:25:42,838 --> 00:25:45,475 Don't blame me! Don't blame me Trig! Just blame him! 365 00:25:46,429 --> 00:25:48,698 Rodney, I was up there three hours! Three bloody hours! 366 00:25:49,537 --> 00:25:51,748 I did the loop-the-loop over Dimchurch. 367 00:25:53,753 --> 00:25:57,410 Little kids were shouting at me, 'There goes a spaceman, a spaceman.' 368 00:25:59,691 --> 00:26:03,581 Finally, just when I'd given up hope I clattered into an aerial thing 369 00:26:03,616 --> 00:26:05,795 and fell 50 foot to the ground. 370 00:26:05,830 --> 00:26:08,761 It was only by the grace of God that I landed on something soft. 371 00:26:09,035 --> 00:26:10,785 Yeah, I noticed the bruising around your head. 372 00:26:11,973 --> 00:26:18,572 It was not my head! I landed on a very unfortunate and very unsuspecting courting couple. 373 00:26:20,116 --> 00:26:20,996 You're kidding? 374 00:26:21,031 --> 00:26:22,522 No, I wish I was. 375 00:26:22,976 --> 00:26:29,730 Due to your vicious mind and general wallyness, they've had to put their wedding back six months. 376 00:26:31,232 --> 00:26:33,764 I've had to pay for a new sun-roof in their Sierra 377 00:26:34,728 --> 00:26:38,408 and that's regardless of what Radio Rentals are gonna do me for for the aerial! 378 00:26:40,635 --> 00:26:42,612 Would it help if I said I'm sorry? 379 00:26:42,647 --> 00:26:44,408 No it would not! 380 00:26:44,846 --> 00:26:49,279 Talking of weddings, that reminds me. Lisa has invited you to hers. 381 00:26:49,314 --> 00:26:53,569 Well that's all I need innit, eh? That's another trip down to bleedin' Hampshire... 382 00:26:55,408 --> 00:26:56,823 Lisa's getting married? 383 00:26:57,091 --> 00:27:02,889 Yeah, in a couple of months, that's what she came up for - to buy herself a wedding dress in Oxford street. 384 00:27:03,990 --> 00:27:05,364 This is all a bit sudden innit? 385 00:27:05,399 --> 00:27:09,272 No. She's been engaged for over a year - some geezer called Andy. 386 00:27:09,307 --> 00:27:11,429 That's a bit of good news Trig! 387 00:27:11,735 --> 00:27:15,123 Here, I'll tell you what I'll do, I'll open the pub and we'll have a little celebration drink. 388 00:27:15,158 --> 00:27:16,712 Yeah nice one Mike. You coming Albert? 389 00:27:16,747 --> 00:27:17,977 Yeah I'll be there son. 390 00:27:18,012 --> 00:27:19,921 I suppose you two will be joining us? 391 00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:31,568 So she was engaged all the time! 392 00:27:34,871 --> 00:27:37,533 What a couple of wallies!